Self Assessment

Wow, how quickly a person's life can change in a few weeks. It's been pretty much a month since I moved to my new home, and well, my life's a lot different than it was back then.

My new school, El Camino Real, it's a lot different than my last high school. For one, it's a lot more packed, and I mean a LOT more packed. It so hard to walk from class to class. And also, there's a lot of hot girls there. I mean, do they only allow hot brainless white girls into this school?!? I'm serious, it's really intimidating you know?

Well, I eat less and exercise a lot more because of that I guess. Wow, I actually have muscles now too. lol. And you know what, girls have actually aproached ME. It's fuckin insane. I mean, i've been used to being treated like utter shit for my entire life. Always treated as a worthless, fat mexican. Man, everyone in the fucking world said I was fat, my parents, doctor, kids, cousins, brothers, everyone. But now, people look at me and cant imagine I was ever fat. How? How has my life changed so much? Why do people talk with me first now? Didn't it always have to be me to start conversations in order for people to aknowledge my existance?

My life was purgatory. It was hell. It was the most horrendous, silent, and slow death

one could experience. It was a slow, dull routine that seemed like it would never end. I wanted to kill myself, everyday. Everyday, I had the same thought I had the day before. Everyday, I would daydream a new death. I never once thought, "I enjoy life". Not once. Not even fucking once.

To this day, I seriously have no idea why I'm still alive. I dont. I should've killed myself countless times since now. But i'm still here. I never gave up. I never let go of life.

Why? Not god i'll tell you that, since I stopped believing in him a longass time ago. It must of been my own self-preservation. It's an instinct all humans have. A primal feeling that one values their own life. And it takes a lot to destroy one's self-preservation and be able to commit rational suicide. Dont get me wrong, it's easy as hell to kill yourself. People do it everyday. Some worse off than me and some over a small thing. But those are people who killed themselves without thinking. Without rationalizing. I always thought a lot, before trying to kill myself. I would think, "what would happen to me?" "What would happen to my family?" Sometimes, just the fact that I my family would give me some religious burial was enough to piss me off and not do it. Sometimes the fact that they'd all say, "Oh, it was all because he didn't believe in God" was enough to stop me.

And sometimes, the fact that I knew they cared. That they'd actually grieve over me, even if just a little, I knew deep inside that they would. I couldn't do that to them, it would be selfish of me.

Now, I feel differently. Now, more people care about me. And more than ever before. Because instead of drowning softly in my own self filth and pity, I actually did something about it. And now, I feel a lot stronger than ever before.

I guess I knew all along... How humans thought. What they respected and what they didn't. And one thing humans respect is looks.

It's strange. How quickly, people will start appreciating you when you look good. Who knew that by being fit, people would see someone else than me. Who knew my parents would refer to the way I was as if it was a completely other person. As if it was a discarded version of me. As if they would never again have to see that person. It's really strange, to have you're own parents refer to you're past existence as not part of who you are now. As if i'm a new son of there's. As if they finally got rid of a nuisance...

Lol, having dial-up sucks so much.... I wish I could have my DSL back.... rahh........no dsl coverage in my area..... why............ why........

Oh yeah, i'm obsessed with "System Of A Down" right now. lol. They're so badass..... damn it ............ augh........................ so ................................ hard ....................... to ......................... dl po- i mean anime ...............................................................................................................with only dialup .......................................................................................................... .........................

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...burst...

So many hot girls! ^^

So many hot guys! (competition) >_<;

So many demanding teachers! >_<

So many badass songs from System Of A Down! ^^

So many family members looking at me as if i'm not Erick! ~_<

Birthday coming up september 28! ^^

So many new wallpapers to download! ^^

Downloading one wallpaper with dial-up takes 10 minutes! >_<

At least I can finally do pullups! Never could!!! XD

Still single.... u_u

But that's a good thing, i've learned! XD

Time to say w00t in the faces of everyone who put me down in life! XD

Take that god for not being able to kill me or make my life miserable W00T! XD

Hey World, yeah you.... w00t...

Speed Grapher episode 15

More than 10 years have passed since the bubble economy ended. The world has polarized into wealth and poor, and Japan is not an exception. Wealth is pursing his desire and pleasure, and Tokyo has become a city of pleasure.

Saiga is a photo journalist, but he was confiscated his passport and he has to stay in Japan. One day, he is asked to cover a secret club, “Roppongi Club”. It is a club which only a few selected people can join. It is said that the member can get ultimate pleasure. He manages to get in the club. Then, he meets a girl, Kagura, who asks him for help. She is manipulated by the manager, Suitengu, and she is treated as the symbol of the club. Saiga runs away with her. After that, he finds he has obtained a special ability by the encounter with her. Also, the pursuers of Roppongi Club are those who have obtained special abilities. -AniDB

Great anime. I just love the dark atmosphere it has. It just has something that attracts me to it. Even though the animations quality is horrible, it's still something i'll watch to the end.


This episode starts with a flashback scene of sorts, with a woman sinking into the ocean, with her daughter. The mother seems happy for some reason, and even holds her daughter with care or something. What a bitch, she's killing her daughter and she thinks she's so motherly or something.
Whatever, back to the real word.



Saiga and Kagura are at a train station, waiting for a, well, a train. Saiga's searching the newspaper for anything on what happened the day before at Suitengu's wedding ceremony. With all the press there, something should have come out right? Guess not, there's not a word about what happened there.



On the train, Kagura marvels at the ocean. She starts talking about the tale of the Little Mermaid. Not the one Disney raped into a G-rated child's story, but the badass jap version. She says how when the little mermaid turned 15, she was allowed to go to the shore. And there she found a prince. Then saiga says, "I'm not a prince" And she laughs and says he's wierd, that it's just a story.
Pwned! I guess he cant express his loli thoughts to her yet, he'll have to just take pictures of her at night.



The "monster-of-the-week syndrome" sadly continues to rape SG, but whatever, I can live with it. This time, it's a normal looking girl named Miharu. She's actually cute, and not some wierd sick freak for once.



She meets with the Suitengu's men to arrange plans. She's going to be the one to finally kill Saiga? Of course not. We're only on episode 15 of 26. Heh.
She seems to be mute, and they also say she was in a real famous movie. But only in that one movie. She never became a real star or anything.
Well, they reveal the fact that her mother tried to drown her many times when she was little. And once, her mother finally died, but she didn't. For that reason she became mute?



Meanwhile saiga and kagura are find a car to drive with, and deicide to go to a small cabin in the forest. Where it's deserted and no one can hear them die. Idiots.



Saiga thinks about how he has little time before he loses his sight, and kagura has little time before she dies. And he just wants to spend the last few minutes as happily as he can with her. Knowing that it's almost... like a love suicide.



It gets late. They're driving through the forest, and suddenly someone appears at the road and Saiga hits the brakes like a dumbass. Practically knocking out kagura. Damn it, seat belts dont help you for shit, remember that kids.
He gets out of the car and asks if she's ok. She doesn't say anything, and just points at his car. He say sorry and that he cant take her anywhere (what a fuckin jerk!) becuase he's in a hurry. She gets pissed off and grabs him by his hand. She starts pulling him into the woods. Maybe there's someone injured there?
He asks her where she's taking him, but she wont say shit. So he pulls his hand away from her, and that's when she go's eroge style on him.



Damn, is she that conceited?! They kiss for a while and saiga is just standing there in shock (what a bad excuse). Her feet are dripping with a slimy-looking water. Damn, is she... no.... she cant be... having a... she's into that kind of shit?... Damn...



Finally, Saiga comes to his senses (or he just had enough tasting) and pushes her down to the floor. She just sits there looking at him, and he just stands there looking down on her. And then he walks away, not saying a word.



He gets back in the car and continues driving. His lips feel cold, what the hell was wrong with her? She tasted like listerine or something I guess.
It gets foggy as hell. And with the windows slightly opened, fog starts getting in.



The fog accumulates in the back seat and saiga looks into the top mirror and sees her face in the fog! Scary! He closes the windows before any more fog gets in and she dissapears.



Meanwhile, it's explained that Miharu was married many times, and that each time, her husband died from a love suicide. They would both try to drown, but somehow she would survive. Yeah right, somehow...



The fog thickens. A lot. They cant see a thing so Saiga stops the car and decides to get this over with.



He walks outside and almost falls off a cliff. All of a sudden, a huge wave shoots upward and just swallows him. Kagura gets out of the car and tries to go after him, will she actually be more than a "useless female" character?
In the water, Miharu takes Saiga deeper with her.



She actually turns into a mermaid, but this isn't how it happened in the disney movie though! Well, she kisses him again, and Saiga actually holds her as well. He looks at her as if she was kagura, interesting... He asks himself if it probably would be ok to die like this.
Then, Miharu's face morphs into some uglyass fishface. But it seems like Saiga cant even see or feel the difference. What a fag.



But then, Kagura shows up and angrily seperates them. Then Miharu has a flashback to when she told her mother it'd be fine to die together. And for some stupidass reason, that's what let's her go.



Maybe I missed something, but Miharu feels relieved after that for some reason, and lets herself sink away to her death.



Back at shore, Saiga tried to make Kagura regain conciousness, crying. She finally wakes up, saying how she defininately wont die now.
There, Saiga makes up his mind that he'll find a cure to her illness. Instead of letting her die.


Well, I didn't really think this was the best episode of SG. The animation sucked as usual, and the new euphoria was just some emo lady who wanted to commit suicide anyway. Oh well, I'm still going to stick with this series until the end.
I'd like to thank Shinsen-Subs for their speedy but good work on SG. Anime-Kraze is real good too though, and their catching up. I praise both groups though.

Comment.

He is My Master Episode 8

Sawatari Izumi and her little sister, Mitsuki, ran away from home. In order to look for part-time jobs, they wandered around the town. However, all the shop owners refused to hire them.

Then, they happened to see a poster looking for resident housekeepers. It was done by Nakabayashi Yoshitaka who had lost his parents in the accident, and he became quite alone. Being sympathized with him, they were going to be help him.

However, Yoshitaka is very pervert person who had a cosplay fetish. He made them wear obscene maid uniforms. Izumi got angry, while Mitsuki enjoyed wearing them. Yoshiki started to enjoy being a master. Then, a pet crocodile which liked girls appeared...

Directed by Shouji Saeki, who was also the director for FLCL.
-AniDB


He is My Master, or HiMM for short, is a great new series produced by Gainax. Even though it has finished airing in Japan, the most current subbed release is episode 8, by Ayu. And in my opinion, they're an incredible group. They've done a fantastic job on HiMM, the typesetting is good looking, they seem they're doing translation-wise, and they're tl notes are extremely informative, and they never skimp out on them. The video/audio quality, ah man it's just great. Ayu's made watching this show as fun as it could possibly be.

Well, episode 8 was another great episode. Full of fun and loliness as usual, but also introduced a new character, Karin.





Everyone's left to go do something, and Izumi stays alone in the mansion. Yoshitaka is at a japanese hooters, while Anna is at a dutch program so she can move to Holland with Izumi, and Mistsuki is at a meeting with the idol agent. But she gets bored real quick, does she actually like the everyday comotion she's become used to having to deal with? Well, a guest arrives, and Izumi goes to answer it. And it's her little sister! What is she doing here on her own?



Karin is Izumi's smallest sister. She had stayed behind when they ran away from home.



She came over because their dad had been so worried about them (who the hell wouldn't?) and well...



So it's true... Japanese people do suck at driving. It's because they're always thinking loli thoughts... damn... never wanted to believe it...


Well, Karin wants to go see Pochi, they always got along so well when she was little. Izumi is hesitant at first, (I wonder why? XD), but takes her to his little house anyway.



Meanwhile, Pochi is watching some quality programming...



But he gets caught! And man, haven't you ever been caught? What did you do?



I remember what I did...



But it didn't work for him either, they still knew exactly what he was doing... u_u
So embarassing... -_-;;


Well, after playing around the mansion, Izumi and her sister take a bath.



What?



Wha what what? Come on... you dont really think that I... Well I mean i'm not offended by it or too innocent... but... Fine i'll admit it if you do. Alright, ready? One, two, three- I get off on Lolicon shit! Wha... Wait, you didn't say it with me you asshole! Now everyone's gonna... Fuck... all the cute little girls reading my blog are going to.... You fucking bitch... -_-;;

So... They look for a fresh pair of clothes, and Izumi decides to let Karin wear the maid uniform.



What? She said it not me...




So after talking with Karin about becoming an idol, she realizes that it's probably the best choice.
She would be able to pay off her debt to Yoshitaka. She'd be able to get her own place and live with Mitsuki and Pochi. And she'd make Karin happy. But then...



Everyone returns from their outings, earlier than Izumi expected. She cant let them know that Karin is here! Yoshitaka and Anna dont even know she has another sister! And if Yoshitaka found out... She just cant let them find her!



Yoshitaka is dissapointed that they closed down the place early. Anna is depressed that she cant marry until she's 16. And Mitsuki seems glad that everything worked out during the meeting. Izumi punches Yoshitaka to stop her from entering, and runs inside to find Karin before it's too late.



But she's running away with pochi!



Is she playing tag or something? Izumi gets pissed off that Karin could be playing around at such a dangerous time.
But she becomes determined that she wont let anyone do anything to Karin, and that she's going to get her and take her away from this perverted hell!
Sadly, she gets slowed down by Anna, (damn it she's annoying), and ends up losing sight of karin.

Meanwhile, Yoshitaka is pissed off that Izumi isn't respecting him as her master. So he sets out with a Kill Bill spiked ball and chain. But he gets run over by Pochi. And when He looks up...



He sees... something, that had to of descended from the heavens...



It is... ....it's an angel.



It had to be a gift from god himself! So many religious references... this pwns evangelion...



He finds out that she's Izumi's little sister. And he sees that she like his mansion. Perfect, he'll make her his.



What a nice guy, just because she likes playing in his mansion, he's going to let her stay! And even better, she can work here as his mai- wah?



Damn, that's some badass animation. XD She looks so enraged! She yells at him to stay away, and that God would never let something this sinful occur under his omnicient watch.



I love all the god jokes that've come out in HiMM. Keep praying losers, you guys can stay on your knees all day while me and all the other cool atheist people go around and make up our own lives.
Well, after lunging for Izumi's bra which Anna threw for him, he slams his head with Pochi's. Izumi walks to karin, and tells her that it's time to go. She understands, and says how glad she is that Izumi is doing well here. Izumi realizes that Karin came because she wanted to cheer her up.



Understanding that, she decides to become an idol for her and Mitsuki's sake. Yoshitaka marvels at her determination. But someone else isn't going to give up just yet.



It's the person Izumi has never agreed with. The reason she and Mitsuki moved out. Her father.



He wont allow any of this to go on any longer. The alligator, the mansion, becoming an idol, it just wasn't acceptable to him.



But Yoshitaka and Pochi wont give up without a fight. Yoshitaka wont let him take his maids away, and Pochi doesnt want to get put down. But they're no match for him! He's determined to finally not let anything get in the way of him disciplining his daughters!



But then, he catches sight of karin...



His beloved daughter Karin... beloved... kawai... daughter...



He becomes enraged that she's wearing such an outfit. Yoshitaka actually made her wear this?!? How low can he be!?!?

In the end, he gets knocked out my Izumi's mom. And she takes him and Karin home. But before so, Izumi tells karin that she'll try her best to become an Idol.
Meanwhile...



Man, doesn't this remind anyone of Speed Grapher?!? With the green glow the night time cities always have? Man, that's how it'd look if it had a larger budget. Sigh, it's just wishful thinking...



At the end of the day, Izumi's debt seems to have increased even more.
Man, I really enjoyed this episode! Like all of them of course, this has been a great series. And of course Ayu has done a great job subbing it, so I also have to praise them as they helped make this series so enjoyable.



How man fansub groups do this? Not many, I think...

Ok, now discuss, bitches...